Hailey (5): “Mommy, this morning I started off on the wrong foot.”
Me: “Oh yeah? Which foot would that be?”
Hailey: The one that’s not thinking straight.
They didn’t see it — it was all cut off!
— 2-year-old son, when his mother was asked how his grandparents liked his new haircut.
Daddy, did your hair slip?
— 3-year-old son, to his bald but long-bearded father.
How will that help?
— kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom.
I tell my 2-year-old that his ears must be tired because they’re not listening, and he responds: Umm no, they’re not tired. I think their batteries died.